image thanks to Minnesota Rebulican Watch

(warning: fictional satire ahead) Today Mark Kennedy held a highly anticipated press conference to address House Majority Leader Tom DeLay’s indictment. Press in attendance were eager to see if Kennedy would finally condemn DeLay’s behavior instead of skirting the issue. Kennedy arrived in plaid and opened with a brief statement:

I am a fourth-generation Minnesota Kennedy, and the fourth generation in my family to serve Minnesota in public office. My parents taught me the Minnesota values of hard work, common sense, faith in God, cooperation to get things done, and a sense of optimism that guide me to this day.

While serving the 6th District in the U.S. House, I have shared Minnesotans frustration with the Senate getting bogged down in partisan obstruction and petty politics. I seek to serve Minnesota in the U.S. Senate to replace angry words with bipartisan solutions.

I believe great things can happen if we trust the people and make sure government helps, rather than hinders them as they pursue their dreams. My vision is for a Minnesota that is the best place in the world for small businesses to invest and grow, where education prepares all for the careers of the future, where consumer driven health care is affordable and accessible, where children are safe, veterans are honored, conservation is practiced, transportation is efficient and the world is at peace because America has continued its proud tradition of advancing the frontiers of Freedom.

Then Kennedy opened for questions:

REPORTER: John Doe, WCCO news. Congressman Kennedy, wasn’t this press conference supposed to be about Tom DeLay!? [other reporters in the crowd start mumbling affirmatives]

MARK KENNEDY: Thank you for attending everyone, we have now reached the conclusion of this press conference. I am running for United States Senate. WOO-HOO!!! But seriously, please evacuate the premises immediately.

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And let’s just throw these facts up about Makeover Mark once more just for fun:

Contributions from ARMPAC (DeLay’s PAC):
www.tray.com $29,500

Voting percentage with DeLay:
calculated through: www.cq.com 95%

Vote to weaken ethics rules:
H Res. 5, Roll Call #6, 1/4/05 YES

Vote to table Democratic solution:
H. Res. 153, Roll Call #70, 3/15/05 YES

Technorati Tags: Mark Kennedy, Tom DeLay

The ANWAR issue is about to come up in congress again and this time it looks as though it may actually have a chance of passing–which is weird considering the GOP is in a worse place than it was the past few times they tried and the proposed drilling hasn’t gained in popularity.  I don’t want to get too into why this sucks but let me just say that the drilling would muck up one of the last pristine ecological systems on the planet for oil that wouldn’t get to the pumps for at least 2 years and even then would only provide a matter of months of supply. With a battle knocking at the door it is incredibly important that we keep our MN GOPers in line against drilling in ANWAR.

To their credit (or maybe that should be phrased as their job since Minnesotans are largely anti-drilling) Coleman and Kennedy have voted against drilling in the past.  But we know how they can buckle under the GOP whip so make sure to send them an e-mail letting them know how you feel.

E-Mail Makeover Mark

“E-Mail” Smilin’ Norm (web-form)

Technorati Tags: ANWAR, Mark Kennedy, Norm Coleman