Surprisingly Poignant Onion Article

State Of Minnesota Too Polite
To Ask For Federal Funding

February 23, 2005

“According to U.S. Department of Transportation records, Minnesota has not requested an increase in highway funds for 10 years, in spite of the fact that the majority of their roads are plagued by rutted or uneven surfaces, cracked pavement, potholes, and other deterioration.

“If it were a life or death situation, you can bet your bippy we’d ask for it, but since it isn’t…” Pawlenty said. “Well, we can make do with the transportation-department budget they decided to give us back in 1995. That was more than generous.”

But U.S. Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta said Minnesota’s highway system is “dangerously underfunded.”

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39 Responses to “Surprisingly Poignant Onion Article”


  1. 1 1 wellstone.tv

    Good post Sean-

    Minnesota should ask for more Federal funds on this issue. If Norm Mineta is in agreement with this why wouldn’t we? If more funds are not recieved by 2009 I will bring the bacon home for Minnesota.

  2. 2 2 Chris

    Minnesota has been fighting for more federal highway funding in that the federal gas tax funds had not previously included the gallons of ethanol we blend with our fuels. Now that ethanol counts the same as gasoline, we’re getting more federal dollars.

    I’m troubled by the phrase “I will bring the bacon home for Minnesota.” Federal highway money should not be distributed as pork barrel projects. That’s part of the reason we’re in the soup we’re in. Mr. Oberstar places some 60 earmarks into the federal highway bill. None of those projects are for roads that carry more than a few thousand cars a day. Those earmarked dollars take both federal and state highway funds from more urgent projects on roads that carry tens of thousands of cars a day. It’s insidious, really.

  3. 3 3 Nitro

    MMMMM…

    This is good bacon. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDW11Dei-Ro

  4. 4 4 Richard

    “bet your bippy” ????????
    I’m sorry, I thought it was 2007.

  5. 5 5 SeanH

    Gotta love The Onion

  6. 6 6 Richard

    SockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittomeSockittome

  7. 7 7 Chris

    One ringy dingy…two ringy dingy…three ringy dingy!

  8. 8 8 Chris

    And that’s the truth :-P *insert raspberry sound*

  9. 9 9 swiftee

    I’m proud to say that I empowerede Angry Al to show people what a gaping asshole he is today….details,and pics to follow/

  10. 10 10 Nitro

    Swiftee, I hope you put some clothes on. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/jhuth/swiftee.jpg

  11. 11 11 Chris

    Nitro,

    Nice to see you’ve stopped with the personal attacks. You’re really a pathetic mean spirited little man.

  12. 12 12 wellstone.tv

    Nitro is great

  13. 13 13 Nitro

    I’m 6’4” 210 lbs, pally, hardly little.

    FYI: Mean spiritness has been the Republican Party’s campaign strategy for a long long time.

    Are you enjoying Countdown tonight, Chris O’Lielly?

  14. 14 14 Chris

    wellstone.tv,

    I think Nitro’s statements are very un-Wellstone like.

    Nitro,

    I said you were a very little man. I said nothing about your height or weight.

  15. 15 15 Nitro

    Chris O’Lielly,

    Who the hell are you to judge who is or is not “Wellstone Like”. The people you represent don’t deserve to lick the bottoms of his farm boots, and neither do you.

    My conversations here with you are not meant to emulate or pay any homage to Paul Wellstone. They are directed at you and you alone. You are quite lucky!

    I would say, rather, that I am rather “Republican Pundit” like here at MN Publius.

  16. 16 16 Swiftee

    Chris, you’ve wisely chosen to ignore the pathetic child that calls himself “Nitro”. This child runs a “MySpace” website that my 16 year-old described as a “toolbox”.

    I’m embaressed that I chose to respond in the first place, but now that I have seen who this tool is I know better than to repeat the mistake.

    ==================

    Here’s a little something everyone will enjoy…there is nothing quite so sweet as watching a leftist moron squirm.

    http://restraininorder.blogspot.com/2007/08/frank-question-goes-unanswered.html “MySpace”…lol!

  17. 17 17 wellstone.tv

    Ya know what Chris- Nitro’s statements are probably un Paul Wellstone like. In regards to Nitro’s attack’s on you whoever, HE HAS MY BACKING 100% You are Bill O’rielly’s Bitch….

  18. 18 18 Nitro

    Wow Swiftee,

    What’d you spend all day writing that piece? I’m glad you included a picture too, that proves that you actually were there. I’m assuming you had clothes on.

    Most Liberals are very happy to take questions that are part of partisan hit pieces, so I don’t understand why he didn’t want to talk to you anymore. Well each to their own, I guess.

    You sure nailed Al Franken. I’m sure that will be all over the internet soon, and on the news.

    Great Job.

  19. 19 19 wellstone.tv

    I liked your State Fair Piece Swiftee, Good job. Nitro is pure entertainment, relax

  20. 20 20 Chris

    wellstone.tv,

    http://images2.dmusic.com/users/n/o/t/nottporn96/7474.jpg

    You are a disgrace to Paul’s memory.

  21. 21 21 wellstone.tv

    IF NOTHING ELSE KNOW THIS….I created the best prescription drug plan in the history of America.

    I have evidence of FOUL PLAY in regards to the Wellstone plane crash which was delivered to my residence by a Federal government worker a few days after the crash.

    I have risked my life repeatedly for Paul Wellstone.

    There are so many more variables, but that is the moral of this story.

    Don’t worry though I am in favor of gay rights.

    You and your “partner” will both qualify for my prescription drug plan

  22. 22 22 Chris

    wellstone.tv,

    I’m not surprised you’re for gay rights since you and Nitro are apparently lovers.

    The only thing you’ve risked is your mind, which you must have destroyed doing acid in the 1960s. Is that the drug plan you’re talking about?

    As for the plane crash, you are a kook. I suppose you think Bush attacked the World Trade Center too.

  23. 23 23 Nitro

    Broom,

    FYI: If Chris O’Lielly is anything like many of those in his Party, he’s still in the closet. Shhhhh!!

  24. 24 24 Nitro

    Chris O’Lielly,

    Nice to see you’ve stopped with the personal attacks. You’re really a pathetic mean spirited little man.

  25. 25 25 wellstone.tv

    I have no comment on 9/11 or JFK because I have no proof…In the matter of the plane crash I’ve got some very intresting evidence, which NO OTHER PERSON in the country has.

    If you were a die hard democrat telling me that I am disgracing Paul Wellstone’s name, I would still tell you to kiss my ass. You have the views of a die hard republican, Hell, you might as well be Dick Cheney telling me I’m disgracing Paul.

    WHAT I AM TO THE RNC IS PAUL WELLSTONE’S MIDDLE FINGER!
    Paul Wellstone was a loving man who would never use his middle finger but when your murdered by your own government the middle finger gets to come out in FULL FORCE.

  26. 26 26 Chris

    wellstone.tv,

    Did you get kicked out of the Jim Jones cult, the Hale-Bopp cult, or the Branch Davidians? I’m just curious…

  27. 27 27 Richard

    Broom, ‘08 will mark the end of America’s experiment with fascism and Senator Wellstone will be able to rest in peace.

  28. 28 28 wellstone.tv

    Chris:

    1960’s???? Oh no I’m much younger than that- just barely old enough to run…..which means I plan on staying in office until I’m 105years old with an oxygen tank.

    Google Micheal Moore Broom…….According to Micheal Moore the “Broom” is the new mascot of the Democratic party…..

    Naturally Moore is talking about a sweep broom …what else on earth other than that could he be talkin about….HA!

    HURRICANE BROOM IS ON COURSE TO BE AT FULL FORCE IN 2008

  29. 29 29 wellstone.tv

    AND FOR THE RECORD I DO HAVE LOVE FOR GEORGE W. BUSH…HOW CAN I NOT? BECAUSE OF GOD AND W’S ADMIN, I STILL GET TO ENJOY TO BE ALIVE…SO I GUESS WHAT I’M SAYING IS WHEN MY MIDDLE FINGER IS UP AND OUT I’LL AT LEAST BE SMILING AND NOT BE HATEFUL.

  30. 30 30 wellstone.tv

    Richard:

    I would bet my balls in Vegas that Paul Wellstone is looking down on this situation with one gigantic smile on his face.

    Paul is able to no longer be with us but yet his spirit is now amplified ten-fold…

    Oh and for the record if anything conviently happens to me b4 Nov 2008 I have 3 more people who will be legally changing their names to Wellstone #3 Wellstone#4 and Wellstone #5….I’ll just see to it we’re all never in the same plane or car.

  31. 31 31 wellstone.tv

    Gee those Wellstone Lives! bumper stickers have been around since 2003….I wonder what those mean.

    I now know how Einstien felt when he was called mentally retarded by his teacher.

    WELLSTONE LIVES! WELLSTONE LIVES! WELLSTONE LIVES! WELLSTONE LIVES! WELLSTONE LIVES! WELLSTONE LIVES! WELLSTONE LIVES!

  32. 32 32 SeanH

    “I’m proud to say that I empowerede Angry Al to show people what a gaping asshole he is today….details,and pics to follow/”

    There was one asshole in that conversation, and it wasn’t Franken.

  33. 33 33 Richard

    The swift one showed very clearly he’s not so swift. What a moron. Oh well, what do you expect from one of the last 20% neocon jackoffs.

  34. 34 34 Chris

    Richard,

    The 20% neocons, as you say, outnumber Congress’ approval rating, which was 18% just last week.

  35. 35 35 Sean

    Mr. McBroom,

    Please stop.

    I can’t say it any more politely, any more succinctly than that.

    Please stop. Please stop commenting here, and if you have any simple common decency, please stop this campaign that is insulting to the memory of Paul Wellstone and everyone else who died with him.

    I can’t make you stop this disgusting campaign, but, at a bare minimum, please stop commenting here.

    Chris et.al.

    Don’t respond to him. Is it really that hard? The fight between partisans is one thing, engaging someone who is pretty clearly mentally disturbed is another. Sean

  36. 36 36 Swiftee

    You know, what sticks with me the most about my discussion with Al is that he is not upset with the damage to his reputation this scandal caused him (of course his rep. couldn’t get much lower anyway), and certainly he is not concerned for the kids of Gloria Wise; Al is pissed because AirScamerica owes him money.

    Nice.

    Al is the poster boy for what ails the Democrat Party.

  37. 37 37 wellstone.tv

    Sean Broom:

    From the bottum of my heart, and I really mean this…..

    BLOW ME YOU SPINELESS BITCH.

    YOU CALL YOURSELF A DEMOCRAT? RESIGN IMMEDIATELY.

    I AM HERE BY STARTING A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION CALLED SEAN BROOM SHOULD STEP DOWN!

    YOU DISGUST ME!

  38. 38 38 wellstone.tv

    Swiftee:

    Stay on that. Even more disgusting than Sean Broom is the fact that AL FRANKEN STEAL’S FROM CHILDREN!!!!!!

    I would read that story 100 times over that fact alone should cost Al dearly.

    ….but remeber WE NEED AL TO GET THE NOMINATION! That way I can shut him down immediately…

  39. 39 39 wellstone.tv

    Broom’s dictionary:

    Democrat: 1.A word used to describe a very loving person.
    2.Someone who watches out for their fellow human being.
    3.A person unlike Sean Broom who would want to
    know what really happened on Oct 25th 2002
    4. An unbeliever in regards to the bullshit de-icing
    reason that was given for horrifying day of Oct 25th 2002

    …..Hush little baby don’t you cry Senator Broom is on his way by.

    SEAN:

    I would of sat down with you for an interview but YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, Now I have 3 newspaper interviews on the way. 100’s more coming b4 Nov. 08

    I think I’ll qoute Montgumery Burns: Exxxxxxxxxcellent.

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